• One and Only •
ACT I
SCENE 1
INT. MARK'S APARTMENT - EVENING
The apartment is small, tidy, and
obviously not host to frequent
visitors. MARK, a self-proclaimed
Nice Guy in his mid twenties
enters.
MARK
"A MOMENT OF GREAT IMPORTANCE"
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
I AM SPEAKING TO YOU TODAY ON THIS
THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT DAY
OF WHAT HAS BEEN UP TILL NOW
A SMALL AND UNIMPORTANT LIFE!
NOT TWO MINUTES AGO
OUTSIDE THIS VERY DOOR
I ENCOUNTERED A WOMAN
WITH EVERYTHING I COULD EVER DESIRE
AND A LITTLE BIT MORE!
A MOMENT LIKE THIS DESERVES A SPEECH
OF MONUMENTAL PROPORTIONS
TO ELOQUENTLY EXPRESS ALL THE IDEAS
RACING THROUGH MY HEAD,
BUT ALL I CAN THINK TO SAY IS:
WOW!
I MEAN, REALLY, WOW!
I MEAN, WOW CAN'T DESCRIBE HER,
BUT WOW - I CAN'T DESCRIBE HER,
THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL I'VE EVER SEEN!
GOLLY!
DID I REALLY JUST SAY 'GOLLY?'
NOBODY SAYS GOLLY, BUT GOLLY!
THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL I'VE EVER SEEN!
NOW YOU MAY THINK THAT'S AN EXAGGERATION!
THAT I MUST SAY THAT ABOUT EVERY GIRL I SEE!
BUT I TELL YOU THAT ISN'T LIKE ME!
IN FACT SHE'S THE FIRST I'VE THUS DESCRIBED IN AT LEAST A
WEEK!
SHE LOOKS SO LOVELY!
I BET SHE'S NICE!
THE WAY THE SUN HITS HER HAIR,
HER FACE LIGHTS UP THE AIR,
NOT THAT I CARE ABOUT LOOKS, MIND YOU, BUT STILL!
SHE'S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL I'VE EVER SEEN!
SHE'S MOVING IN DOWN THE HALL
I SHOULD GIVE HER A CALL
ASK HER OUT FOR COFFEE,
OR DINNER,
OR MARRIAGE
... TOO SOON?
(SPOKEN)
Yes, too soon! What am I thinking? I meet this
girl once, and I'm proposing. In song, no less!
Pull yourself together man! The world is not a
musical! Ten dollars says the next time she
sees you she doesn't remember your name.
Wait - you didn't tell her your name. She
didn't tell you her name. And of course you
didn't ask for her number, so you couldn't even
call if you wanted to. That's right! Forget it -
there's no way!
...Of course, she is still outside unpacking -
all I have to do is open the door, walk a few
feet, say "Hi, I noticed you're new in the
building, would you like to go out sometime?"
No harm in that! What's the worst thing that
could happen? She says no. No biggie. No big
deal. No problem.
... But what if she says yes? What if she says
"Sounds great! What do you like to do for fun?"
What do I say to that? "Well, I spend most of
my time sitting alone in my apartment, watching
re-runs of old TV shows, wasting countless
hours on internet message boards, and
reflecting on the wasted years of my youth.
Want to join me?" Yeah right - what does she
want to do with a guy like me? A loser - a dead
end - a schmo!
... but then, she did smile as our paths
crossed. She said hello, and I said hello.
Maybe we're meant for each other! Maybe we're
soul mates! Maybe she has really low standards!
Who am I to pass on this opportunity? If we are
destined to be together, who am I to shun my
responsibility! Come on, Mark - you have a date
with destiny.
... If she calls me. Yes.
This will be a test - if we are meant to be
together, than at this moment, that phone will
ring and I will be on the road to True Love!
The phone rings.
MARK (cont'd)
That's a coincidence - could've happened
anytime.
(On phone)
Hello?
CHAD
(on phone)
Marky Mark! It's Chad! From work!
MARK
... Oh. Hi, Chad.
CHAD
I was calling to ask if you're going to the
party tonight?
MARK
I don't think so. I've got a video that's due
back tomorrow, and I haven't watched it.
CHAD
Dude - a video? It's Saturday Night! Get out of
your apartment for once!
MARK
Right - it's Saturday, which is why I really
don't want to get back together with all the
people from the office.
CHAD
But it's the end of the quarter party! And
rumor has it that Sherry in marketing just
dumped her boyfriend, and she's looking to
spread some viral marketing.
MARK
I really don't think that's the phrase you
wanted to use. But, again, I think I'll be
sitting this one out.
CHAD
It was the biggest sales quarter in three
years! Word coming down from up top is that
they're bringing in three cases of top-shelf -
"el vino will flow!"
MARK
Look - I -
A knock at the door.
MARK (cont'd)
Hold on - someone's at the door.
Mark opens the door, revealing THE
GIRL.
THE GIRL
Hi - I was wondering if you have a box cutter I
could borrow?
MARK
... Uh, Chad? Can I call you back?
(hangs up the phone)
Yeah - I think I've got one in one of these
drawers.
THE GIRL
Oh, great! Yeah, I'm just trying to get
everything unpacked, and realized it's hard to
cut through all that tape when the box
cutters's still in one of the boxes.
MARK
Yeah, that'd cause a problem. Here it is - one
box cutter.
THE GIRL
Thanks so much! I'll bring it back as quick as
I can.
(starts to exit)
MARK
Hey, waitasec - this might seem kind of
strange, but would you like to go to an office
party with me tonight?
THE GIRL
Tonight?
MARK
Yeah, I didn't think so. Anyway - sorry to
bother you.
THE GIRL
Actually, I'd love to.
MARK
You what?
THE GIRL
I've been dying for an excuse not to unpack all
those boxes.
Let me just take a quick shower and a change of
clothes, and I'll knock on your door in about a
half hour?
MARK
Oh - uh - I... yeah, that sounds great.
THE GIRL
Okay - see ya soon!
THE GIRL exits.
MARK
See ya.
MARK pulls out his phone again and
calls CHAD.
CHAD
Chad here!
MARK
Hey Chad - it's Mark. From work.
CHAD
Marky Mark! How's it hangin? Changed your mind
about the party yet? Free booze, man, can't go
wrong!
MARK
Yeah, I'll be there.
CHAD
Great! Now... Designated-Driver! Not it!
MARK
Not... Dude, you can't -
CHAD
I called it! Them's the rules, be-otch!
MARK
... Fine. But you're stuck in the back - I'm
bringing a friend.
CHAD
A lady friend?
MARK
... yes.
CHAD
What! Somebody call Mythbusters on that one!
MARK
Goodbye.
CHAD
Wait - when are you picking me up!
MARK
I'm not... I'll be there in 45 minutes.
CHAD
Sweet! I'll see you and your lady friend then.
Oh - are you sure you two don't want the back
seat? Rawr!
MARK
Goodbye.
CHAD
Ciao!
MARK
... son of a bitch.
BLACKOUT as Mark exits to get
ready.
(changes to scene one: Chad now
lives in the same building, and
rather than calling on the phone,
he arrives in person. He doesn't
see the girl during that scene,
however, because he is using the
toilet during the exchange between
her and mark)
SCENE TWO
INT. APARTMENT - LATER THAT EVENING
Knock at the door - CHAD enters.
CHAD
It's Saturday night, and the mood is right!
Woo!
MARK
Hi, Chad.
CHAD
So where's this lady friend of yours? Can I
meet her, or do you still have to inflate her?
MARK
She'll be here any minute.
CHAD
What's she look like? Big ones?
MARK
She's not - I mean, well, she does, but -
that's not -
CHAD
I know - you respect her for her mind and her
personality. I'm sure she's got great charm and
wits. What's her name?
MARK
Well, that is... an interesting question...
CHAD
You what?
MARK
I guess I forgot to ask.
CHAD
You got a date with a girl without finding out
her name? I haven't even done that.
MARK
No?
CHAD
Once I boned a girl and couldn't remember her
name the next morning. But, I'm pretty sure she
had told me at one point.
MARK
That's... must have been very awkward.
CHAD
You're telling me - we went at it again and I
didn't know what to yell.
MARK
I feel so sorry for you.
CHAD
Enough chit chat - let's go over your battle
plan.
MARK
Battle plan?
CHAD
If you want to get past enemy lines, you have
to have a battle plan. It's just like the old
saying - those who fail to plan, plan to stay
home and masturbate.
MARK
I didn't need to hear that.
CHAD
I think you did, my man. Look - you've got the
opportunity to learn from the feet of the
master here, and I recommend you listen.
"ADVICE"
THERE ARE TIMES TO FLY BY THE SEAT OF YOUR PANTS
BUT THIS ISN'T IT.
THERE ARE TIMES TO CLOSE YOUR EYES AND TAKE A CHANCE
BUT NOT WHEN YOU'VE A CHANCE TO GET TIT.
LISTEN TO WHAT I SAY, MY FRIEND
THERE ARE RULES THAT YOU MUST HEED
IF YOU WISH TO BE HAPPY IN THE END
THESE ARE THE THINGS THAT YOU WILL NEED:
FIRST YOU NEED SOME CONFIDENCE;
LET HER KNOW ALL THE GREAT THINGS ABOUT YOU
EVEN THOUGH IN THIS INSTANCE
THOSE THINGS MAY NOT REALLY BE TRUE
SECOND OF ALL, A SENSE OF HUMOUR
THIRD, CHARISMA, CHARM AND VERVE
FOURTH A SENSE OF HIGH ADVENTURE
NEXT YOU NEED TO GET SOME NERVE
OF COURSE THEN THERE'S SENSITIVITY
CREATIVITY, AVIDITY,
EVIDENCE OF PROCLIVITY
FOR SEXUAL ACTIVITY
BE FIRM YET SOFT AND CARING
APPRECIATE THE SHALLOW, BUT BE DEEP
BE EASY GOING AND BE DARING
KNOW HOW TO CRY, BUT NEVER WEEP
BE FULL OF YOURSELF, BUT NOT COCKY
BE GENTLE, BUT DO NOT BE WEAK
BE INTO SPORTS, BUT NOT TOO JOCK-Y
BE ASSERTIVE AND STRONG, BUT BE MEEK
IT'S DIFFICULT TO MAINTAIN THIS BALANCE
THAT'S WHY SEDUCTION IS KNOWN AS AN ART
YOU MUST WORK TO HONE YOUR TALENTS
IN ORDER TO MASTER THE PART
WHEN YOU CAN DO IT ALL WITHOUT TRYING
WHEN YOU SPEAK TO WOMEN WITHOUT BEING AFRAID
WHEN YOU'RE COOL AND COLLECTED WHILE LYING
THEN AT LONG LAST, YOU MIGHT GET LAID
IT'S TRUE, YOU'VE GOT A LONG ROAD AHEAD
BUT IN THE END, YOU WILL SEE
THAT IN ORDER TO TAKE A WOMAN TO BED,
IT'S BEST TO BE EXACTLY LIKE ME!
MARK
I feel like I should slap you on behalf of
women everywhere.
Knock at the door.
MARK (cont'd)
Never mind - that'll be them now.
CHAD
Can't hide from the truth, my man.
MARK opens the door. THE GIRL is
there, looking gorgeous in a girl
next-door kind of way.
MARK
Hi!
THE GIRL
Hello.
CHAD
Mark?
MARK
Oh - this is Chad. Chad, this is...
THE GIRL
Nice to meet you, Chad.
CHAD
And very nice to meet you...
CHAD goes to kiss her hand, but
she pulls it away.
THE GIRL
Are we ready to go?
MARK
I think so. Ready Chad?
CHAD
Are you ready?
CHAD makes some not-so-subtle
"hubba hubba" motions.
MARK
What are you...? My car is parked on the street
- the blue Golf.
THE GIRL
Well then, let's be off.
MARK
You coming, Chad?
CHAD
That's what she said.
They exit.
SCENE THREE
INT. OFFICE OF FLASHNET MARKETING - LATER
We are at the End of the Quarter
party, and boy is it lame.
CHAD enters, followed my MARK and
THE GIRL
CHAD
Party time!
CHAD spots SHERRY off stage and
exits in her direction.
CHAD (cont'd)
There's Sherry - time for me to send my junk
mail to her inbox.
MARK
(to Chad)
You really need some new analogies there.
(to the girl)
So - this is my office.
THE GIRL
Nice... what is it you do here?
MARK
I design "interactive flash-based marketing
solutions."
THE GIRL
That sounds impressive - what does it mean?
MARK
It's not really - well, um, you know those
flashing pop up ads that you see on websites?
THE GIRL
"Who's boobs are these? Guess right and win a
free iPod?"
MARK
I actually designed that.
THE GIRL
Oh - I hate you.
MARK
Yeah, most people do. It's just to pay the
bills - once I can strike it rich on my own
I'll be outta here.
THE GIRL
Strike it rich doing what?
MARK
Illustrations. I really want to illustrate
children's books.
THE GIRL
Well, I can see how flashing boob ads will help
with that.
MARK
Don't -
TONY, the boss, interrupts.
TONY
Mark!
MARK
Mr. Bantam.
TONY
Please - it's a party. Call me Tony. And - who
is this?
MARK
Oh, sorry, this is...
MARK looks to THE GIRL. THE GIRL
looks back, waiting for him to say
her name. When it is clear that he
isn't going to, she continues.
THE GIRL
Kathryn.
MARK
Kathryn. Kathryn, this is Mr. - Tony.
THE GIRL
Nice to meet you.
TONY
If you guys need anything, we've got drinks
over there, snacks over there...
MARK
Thanks.
TONY
(sees another person across the room)
Hey - Teddy!
TONY exits.
MARK
Can I get you something to drink?
KATHRYN
What was that about?
MARK
Oh - he's my boss.
KATHRYN
No, not that - you didn't know my name?
MARK
No, well - of course, I... "Mulva."
KATHRYN
Mulva?
MARK
It was - "Seinfeld." That's what that was a
reference to.
KATHRYN
Uh-huh. I think I will have a drink.
MARK
Yeah. Now I need one.
MARK and KATHRYN walk to the drink
table and grab glasses of punch.
MARK (cont'd)
What should we drink to?
KATHRYN
To... to new friends.
They clink and drink.
LIGHTS OUT.
SCENE FOUR
INT. DUFFY'S PLACE - THE NEXT DAY
Duffy's Place is a rather seedy
bar with a reputation as a meat
market. The place is mostly empty,
except for a few guys. MARK
enters, looking around. CHAD,
sitting at the bar, waves him
over.
CHAD
Marky Mark!
(handing MARK a stack of papers)
Here.
MARK
What are these?
CHAD
Xeroxes.
MARK
Yeah, but... Chad, is that your ass?
CHAD
No!
(takes stack, looks through them until he
finds one in particular)
This is my ass.
MARK
What am I supposed to do with this?
CHAD
Hang it on the fridge? Make a scrap book? Tape
it to your pants as a cheap alternative to
plastic surgery?
MARK
What am I doing here, Chad?
CHAD
... Okay, so, you know Sherry?
MARK
Yeah.
CHAD
Okay, well last night... Okay, so we were
having some drinks, one thing led to another,
and - oh, actually, if you flip through these
(taking pile of copies and flipping
through them)
You can actually see it, like a flip book. Look-
MARK
That's okay, I really don't need to - wow,
that's... No, but anyway, so you and Sherry...
did this. And...
CHAD
And, it turns out that she's batshit crazy, and
I gave her your apartment number instead of
mine so that she wouldn't be able to find me.
MARK
Dude, why would you -?
CHAD
Look - it was a panic move. She called me today
to see if I wanted to do anything tonight, and
I told her to come on over, and gave her your
address.
MARK
I thought you liked her?
CHAD
Yeah, but not enough to see her the next day!
Listen, I have very strict rules that I must
follow, and to see her tonight would be
breaking at least six of them.
MARK
Well. Okay then.
CHAD
Don't be like that - look, I called you down
here so that you wouldn't have to deal with her
when she shows up. Crisis averted. Whew. Anyway
- speaking of crazy bitches, how'd things go
with the unknown soldier?
MARK
The unknown -? Oh - her name is Kathryn. I
think things went pretty well. She laughed at
my jokes and everything.
CHAD
And how was she?
MARK
How do you mean?
CHAD makes a lewd gesture.
MARK (cont'd)
Oh! No, we didn't -
CHAD
You didn't?
MARK
No, we didn't.
CHAD
You didn't! Balls on my face and a dick in my
ass, why the hell not!?
MARK
Excuse me? It was a first date!
CHAD
Man, listen to me. You have terrible taste in
women. Are you listening? You have terrible
taste in women. And listen - not only do you
have really, really terrible taste in women,
but you can't even get off with the scuddy
mouth-breathers you for some reason feel worthy
of pointing your efforts towards.
MARK
I feel like I should punch you or something.
CHAD
Let me finish - my point is that you have zero
chance of ever hooking up with a woman, ever.
Yet - for some reason, be it the alignment of
the planets, divine intervention, or a trip
through the twilight zone, last night you found
yourself with a genuine smoking woman who, for
whatever reason, was not completely put off by
you. And you have the audacity to take that
situation and completely waste it by not giving
her twinkie your special cream filling?
MARK
Well, I'm sorry, but it just so happens that
there are some guys that have more respect for
woman that to just treat them as sex objects.
CHAD
Just treat them as... Listen, chum:
"THE GREATEST OBJECT"
THERE ARE OBJECTS OF ALL SHAPES AND SIZES
AND THE THING YOU NEED TO REALIZE IS
TO SAY SOMETHING'S AN OBJECT'S NOT SO BAD.
THEY ARE THE THINGS THAT EACH MAN PRIZES,
PUTS ON DISPLAY, AND EACH MAN TRIES HIS
BEST TO FIND A BETTER THING TO BE HAD.
BUT OVER THE YEARS EACH MAN HAS SHOWN,
TO LONG FOR ONE OBJECT, AND ONE ALONE
MORE THAN TELEVISION, CAR, OR CELLULAR PHONE,
A WOMAN IS THE GREATEST OBJECT A MAN CAN EVER OWN!
(the song will continue and grow into a
big dance number with all the guys at the
bar)
MARK
I think if a woman were to hear you say that,
you'd be shunned from society.
CHAD
Don't kid yourself, Marky Mark, men are even
more objects than women.
MARK
That's not true.
CHAD
Don't shoot the messenger - you're just a penis
that can buy her dinner.
MARK
Okay, I'm leaving.
CHAD
Hold on - hold on. I'm sorry. I'm right, but
I'm sorry. What are you going to do now?
MARK
I'm going to go home.
CHAD
... about the girl?
MARK
I don't know. She's probably busy unpacking
still, so I'll leave her to it.
CHAD
And then?
MARK
Then... I'll probably see if she wants to do
something next weekend. I dunno. Or some coffee
or something.
CHAD
What are you doing next weekend?
MARK
I don't know. Maybe a movie?
CHAD
"I don't know" - this is my point! You don't
know! You've got your little idealist head full
of "I don't know," and it's kind of cute, but
seriously, it's pathetic and I'm getting a
little tired of wasting my time with you. But
you're my friend, so I want to help you out.
MARK
Your kind of help I think I can do without.
Thanks anyway.
CHAD
You walk out that door, and you'll let her
disappear like every other girl you've had a
serious thing for. And you know that's true.
MARK
No, I... that's... look, I really like her, and
don't want to throw her away for a one night
stand.
CHAD
To each his own. Either way, though, you won't
get anywhere without the guiding hand of
someone older and wiser. Like me.
MARK
And what's in it for you?
CHAD
For me? Have you no faith? All I want is to see
you happy. Now come, my son, and learn at the
feet of the master.
LIGHTS OUT.
SCENE FIVE
INT. KATHRYN'S APARTMENT - LATER THAT DAY
KATHRYN is lounging around reading
a book. A knock at the door - she
answers it, revealing MARK,
dressed exactly like CHAD.
KATHRYN
Oh! Hi, Mark.
MARK
Hey.
KATHRYN
What's with the get-up?
MARK
Oh - the, uh - it's just some zazz. Trying to
zazz it up a bit, add some zazz.
KATHRYN
Zazz, huh? Looks spiffy. What's going on?
MARK
What's going on? uh... You're going on.
KATHRYN
Um... Are you feeling okay?
MARK
Am I feeling okay?
"HOT BANANAS"
I'M FEELIN' HOT!
I'M FEELIN' BANANAS!
YOU GOT ME HOT BANANAS FOR YOU!
AND IF I GOT YOU HOT BANANAS TOO,
I GOT A HOT BANANA FOR YOU!
BABY YOU KNOW
WHAT I GOT
HAS GOT YOU SO
SO SO SO HOT
SO LETS HAVE A GO
'CAUSE THERE'S A LOT
I WANT TO SHOW
YOU ON MY COT
CAUSE YOU GOT ME HOT!
BANANAS!
HOT BANANAS FOR YOU BABY!
COME ON AND SAY YES!
DO NOT SAY NO
AND DO NOT SAY MAYBE!
BECAUSE I'M SO HOT
BANANAS FOR YOU BABY!
OUR LOVE IS REAL
LET'S SEAL THE DEAL
DON'T DENY WHAT YOU FEEL
LET LOOSE AND REVEAL
THAT YOU'RE HOT!
BANANAS!
HOT BANANAS FOR ME BABY!
YOUR PLACE OR MINE
EITHER WOULD BE FINE
JUST DO NOT DELAY ME!
BECAUSE I'M HOT
BANANAS FOR YOU BABY!
YOU GOT ME HOT
YOU GOT ME BANANAS
YOU GOT ME HOT BANANAS FOR YOU!
AND SINCE I GOT YOU HOT BANANAS TOO,
I'VE GOT A HOT BANANA FOR YOU!
As the song ends, KATHRYN pushes
MARK out the door and slams it in
his face.
MARK (cont'd)
(from outside)
What was that for?
KATHRYN
Hot bananas? Seriously? And I thought this one
was sane.
"SO MUCH TO ASK FOR"
IS IT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR
THAT A GUY IS MORE THAN HIS DICK?
IS IT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR
THAT HE THINKS I'M MORE THAN HIS CHICK?
AM I BEING OBTUSE?
SO WHY THIS ABUSE?
BECAUSE I'M NOT LOOSE?
DON'T WANT HIS MAN JUICE?
ALL I WANT IS A FELLA
WHO TREATS ME RIGHT
TAKE ME TO DINNER
AND THEN STAYS THE NIGHT
IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR?
I WANT LOVE AT FIRST GLANCE WITH
A FELLA TO DANCE WITH
TO TAKE A CHANCE WITH
TO GO TO FRANCE WITH
AREN'T THERE GUYS WHO ARE INTO ROMANCE?
WHO LIKES WHAT'S IN MY HEAD
MORE THAN WHAT'S IN MY PANTS?
IS IT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR?
I JUST WANT A NICE GUY
WHOSE SOFT ON THE EYE
CALLS JUST TO SAY "HI"
GIFTS WITH NO REASON WHY
IF SUCH MAN EXISTS, THEN GOD I PRAY
DON'T LET HIM BE MARRIED, A SMOKER, OR GAY!
IS IT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR?
IS IT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR?
APPARENTLY SO...
BLACK OUT
INT. DUFFY'S PLACE - LATER
MARK is drunk. CHAD sits next to
him comforting him.
CHAD
There there, little trooper. It'll all be okay.
MARK
She hates me!
CHAD
Shh shh shh shh. Don't say that - these things
take time. You used a good line, right? Yeah?
So that's just planting the seed!
MARK
No, I should'a never've listened to you'n your
stupid advice. No. Now she hates me!
CHAD
No!
MARK
Yes she does!
CHAD
No no no.
MARK
Oh yes. Oh yes. I blew it! Pow!
CHAD
Well, maybe, but don't worry about that now!
MARK
Oh no, don't tell me when I not to worry about
that now! You are... the one that has did this!
And now I will fight you mano to a mano. Put up
your dukes!
CHAD
Dear, you're making a scene.
MARK
Oh, what am I gonna do. I shall never love
again!
Waiter! Give me another daiquiri.
CHAD
Whoa there, I think you've had enough.
MARK
Had enough of you, you mean. What happened to
our fight?
CHAD
We had it. You won.
MARK
I won? Yesssssss. Shows you!
SHERRY enters - she is in her mid
30s, dressed as if she were in her
early 20s. She is attractive in a
surgically enhanced stripper kind
of way.
CHAD
Dude!
MARK
Yessir, I am THE DUDE!
CHAD
No, dude, it's Sherry!
MARK
No sherry, I've having... Another daiquiri
CHAD
Don't tell her anything!
CHAD ducks behind some fake palm
trees by the bar.
SHERRY approaches MARK.
SHERRY
Hey... Mark, is it?
MARK
Hi, Sherry-from-marketing!
SHERRY
Are you drunk?
MARK
What! What a question!
SHERRY
I didn't know you were a drinker.
MARK
I can drink if I wanna drink when I wanna! I am
a man, and king of castle... the castle.
SHERRY
So I see. Have you seen Chad around?
MARK
Chad! Oooohhhhh, that... bastard!
SHERRY
What?
MARK
Nope! He told me not to tell you anything.
SHERRY
When did he say that?
MARK
A minute ago, just before he ran behind those
palm trees.
MARK points, and the display of
palm trees slowly makes its way
out a back door offstage.
MARK (cont'd)
D'oh! Those palm trees were my ride.
|
2009 - Nathaniel Jones