• McCain is Old •
REPORTER
Senator McCain, aren't you too old to become president?
MCCAIN
Too old? Heck, President Harrison took office when he was 68!
REPORTER
... and died a month later.
MCCAIN
That was back in the 1800s - with today's life expectancies, I bet I'll last twice that long.
REPORTER
But honestly - what can a man of your age bring to the table that Senetors Obama or
Clinton couldn't?
MCCAIN
Experience, m'boy, experience.
(to the tune of "The Lees of Old Virginia")
I'm John Sidney McCain the Third, the only nominee
With experience like I've procured throughout our history!
And I'm sure I will impress when I tell you I've success-
fully completed far more than Vietnam-iney!
I built the ships Columbus sailed, and I saw the sphinx unveiled
You want experience? Then vote for John McC!
I've fought in every war heretofore!
My boyhood pet was a dinosaur!
Made the world's first brew, and cheese fondue!
The Gospel of John? I wrote that, too!
I can't be outdone, cause God made me ready on Day One,
"Let there be light?" That was my idea!
Yes sir by God, so
Make a note to go and vote
For the world's first zygote!
Democracy happens to be
an idea I had when I was three!
Need I explain how much you'll gain?
It'll be just like having Bush again!
Vote John McCain!
REPORTER
Well, I'm convinced - any final thoughts, senator?
MCCAIN
Yes - when you go to vote in November, remember this: I'm not just some old white guy
running for president - I'm the only old white guy running for president. Vote McCain!
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