• Iditarod! •

                                   NARRATOR
            The Iditarod - a dangerous trek over one thousand and fifty nine miles of Alaska's
            harshest terrain. One of the most dangerous races in the world, the Iditarod pits man
            against the elements - dangers lie at every curve, and one wrong move can have deadly
            consequences. But for these men and their dogs, the Iditarod is a once-in-a-lifetime chance
            to conquer fear, and mother nature herself. This is the story of one of those brave men.

                                   WILSON
            Some people said I was crazy to even try. But I did my research - I read stories of the
            adventures found on the Iditarod, and knew I had to take the chance, and maybe - just
            maybe - make history. I was inspired by tales of heroic men, and their even more heroic
            dogs. I watched the cartoon based on the story of Balto, and its two direct-to-video
            sequels, and I thought: who knows - maybe that can be me. So I loaded up a bag with
            some non-perishable food, and flew to Alaska. Where would my adventure take me? Who
            knows. 
            Actually, I knew - it would take me to Alaska.
            On the Iditarod trail, you have to rely on your dogs - your life lies in their paws. And so I
            brought with me the one dog to whom I could entrust my life: Archduke Ferdinand the
            Great.

                                   The small white dog from the magic show enters.

                                   WILSON
            While most would have gone with the more traditional Husky or Malamute, I had faith in
            my trusty Maltese. Together, we would conquer the wilderness. Together, we would earn
            our place amongst the likes of Dick Wilmarth, Martin Buser, Dick Mackey, and the rest
            of these names I copied down from wikipedia.
            We started out strong - at the starting line, the media loved us. Everybody wanted to take
            a picture with the first ever Maltese to run as the sole sled dog in the Iditarod. But our
            glory was short-lived. On the first day, I spent over 45 minutes telling him to "mush"
            before realizing that I was talking to a small clump of snow. And, when I realized my
            mistake, we discovered that he wasn't able to pull the sled. But we weren't deterred.

                                   The dog is riding a sled, which Wilson is pulling with
                                   great difficulty.

                                   WILSON
            The next setback came on the second day, when my canned soup froze, exploding the
            cans, leaving me with only hot pockets to eat, and no microwave to cook them. Luckily,
            we were still sitting at the starting line, so we walked back into town and went to
            Wendy's. This only made matters worse, because it was Wendy's. But we weren't going
            to give up. We rode on through the afternoon, until tragedy struck.

                                   Wilson falls.

                                   WILSON
            Ow! My ankle! Quick, Archduke Ferdinand the Great! Quick! I need to put an ice pack
            on, but we're out in the wilderness! Go, Archduke Ferdinand the Great - get a doctor!
            Get a doctor!

                                   The dog licks his face.

                                   WILSON
            No! A doctor! I need an ice pack, but there's nothing around but snow! I need a doctor! 

                                   The dog runs off, runs back with a stuffed animal.

                                   WILSON
            No - don't you understand? My life hangs in the balance! If I don't get help soon, I may
            bruise!

                                   The dog runs off, brings back a squeaky bone.

                                   WILSON
            When I saw that squeaky bone, I knew that I had to summon all of my energy and
            somehow make it back the quarter mile into town - or else I would soon be a pile of
            squeaky bones myself.. Luckily, with much effort, I found a drug store. My wound was
            healed. But our chances at winning the Iditarod were gone - buried under the harsh
            Alaskan snows.
            One more casualty of the race - the great race. The Iditarod.

                                   NARRATOR
            This has been The Iditarod. Tune in to next week's episode for a look at one daring racer
            who vowed to conquer the elements using technology!

                                   A guy is sitting on a sled attached to a bunch of those toy
                                   dogs that bark and do back flips.